The Pickle Chronicles

3.75 out of 5

With Mr. Crisp we find ourselves with another delightful small batch chef inspired pickle.  In comparison to other Spicy pickles this comes in at the lower end of the spice spectrum maybe a 1 out of 5 for spice.  But don’t let that cool you down, the garlic on the other hand is way up there.  Not quite as garlicky as what Grillo is throwing down but it’s in the ballpark.  You’ll find these are hand cut but you’ll see pretty consistent chip sizes, all of which come with a crunch that can only be described as, well, crunchy… maybe very crunchy.  Definitely not the most crunchy.  Yeah, let’s go with very crunchy.  You’ll find some very minimal dill weeds and a lot of chopped up garlic floating around in the jar if that appeals to you.  I’d say this is a well rounded pickle, and if you are into pickles on burgers I feel like this pickle would suite you well.  Also Mr. Crisp was the asshole in charge of Saint Catherine high school in Sister Act 2.  Nobody really liked him but thank god Sister Mary Clarence showed up and took that crazy group of delinquent students to the 1994 all state music competition and took home the gold.  If she can save the day surely Mr. Crisp deserves another shot, so needless to say, I’d buy them again thanks to Sister Mary Clarence and her joyful joyful pickles.

4.0 out of 5

I’ve been excited about the opportunity to put a Bread and Butter chip from McClure’s in my mouth.  I had no idea that Cilantro was going to be at the party.  Had I known this was a ménage à trois I would have dressed more appropriately, or at least had a few drinks first.  I know the burning question right now is “Does the cilantro play?”… oh it plays, unless you are one of those people that have a mutation that makes cilantro taste like soap. If you are that person I’d steer the fuck clear of this party.  But for the rest of the cool people that don’t mind a little soap in their bread and butter, this pickle is the cat’s meow.  The sweetness of this pickle is wonderfully balanced.  If you thought the aforementioned sexy cilantro party was a surprise you’re going to love this.  Not only does there appear to be some super tiny onion slices buried in this square pickle coffin…there is fucking dill in there.  Yeah.. .a Bread, Butter, Cilantro, and Dill pickle.  This wasn’t just a delicious surprise, it was a delicious super secret surprise since it’s not clearly labeled anywhere.  Also this pickle comes in a stupid plastic box (square pickle coffin) which I don’t like. All the ingredients are printed on the underside of what I’d hardly consider a tight lid.  Try to read anything on this label after opening the coffin, I dare you. This is annoying at best, and a future mess of a disaster when your lid comes off and you lose every single slice of bread, butter, cilantro, and fucking dill pickle heaven.  If you have a spare jar lying around I’d recommend pouring them in that after opening to keep those fuckers safe until you are ready to enjoy.  I love this pickle, and I’d argue it’s the best bread, butter, cilantro, and dill pickle on the market.  None of them steal the show, but if any of them stood alone it’s still likely to be a winner.  But they don’t stand alone… the cheese stands alone, but that’s a story for another time.