4.5 out of 5

Look, This pickle has been around since 1747.  Let that sink in….. 1747.  Do you know what 1747 is in roman numerals?  Its MDCCXLVII.  Also what in the actual fuck is the point of Roman Numerals?  I’m serious, try to google, “why didn’t the romans just use numbers?” And you get a bunch of facts about how stupid it was to use letters for numbers.  Try doing math with letters and forgetting to make one that represents zero.   Anyway, I digress.  Back in MDCCXLVII France some wonderful person shoved the tiniest baby cucumbers into a little jar and packed that sucker with water, spirit vinegar (sounds awesome), onion, salt, and a bunch of huge mustard and corianders seeds and out came history.  This little mini pickle brings so much joy to my life.  They are the Rolex of the Gherkins and there isn’t much better out there.  At least not that I’ve found.  You’ll also find little baby cocktail onions in the jar and if you want a real party, make your self a dirty martini, and instead of olives and olive juice, skewer the little cocktail onion and baby pickle on a toothpick and pour a tiny bit of the brine in there with your favorite vodka and you’ll have one of the best pickle martinis money can buy.   Based on a rough count of onions you’ll probably only be able to make VIII-XVI before you run out of cocktail onions from the jar, but it’s totally worth it.  

P.S.  I tried to do my rating in roman numerals but you also can’t use decimal places in roman numerals.  Fuck.